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My Jobless Life

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July 2015

WRITING IS PAINFUL

To write is simple, but painful. Think of lifting weights; the concept is an easy one, but difficult to execute and painful to do repeatedly. That is what writing feels like to me. It hurts.

Everything I write, especially on my blogs, originate in my heart and finds its way to my head where my mind must clothe those things in words. I am going to stick to describing them as things, because feelings they are not and they become thoughts only near the end of the whole process

Every word has a place, and though there may be several different ways to explain and describe things, my heart knows which word is the right one and only that word will do. On a good day I wake up with an opening line, a bridge (that’s what I call it) and part of a closing line. On a bad day, it’s many scrambled ideas that push for attention making me lose my train of thought.

No matter how simple or unimpressive my writing might be to whoever takes the time to read it, whatever they might think of my abilities, everything I put into words is who I am. If you could imagine taking a piece of your soul, shaping it into a word and then leaving it open to the scrutiny of the world, you would have an idea of how writing feels to me. Very melodramatic, hey? So what if I say that I cry because often I don’t want to write; I just can’t stand having to rip out another piece of myself and turning it into words? What if I say that every time I wrote a piece about a person, I carried them with me until I started the writing process; and they felt physically heavy? What if I say that to write about them, I had to stop being me for a while and become them a little bit? What if I say that things I could not possibly know are whispered into my heart and turned into words, things that eventually prove themselves true. I would be a nut, probably. So when that thing says: “You didn’t use the word I wanted you to in this sentence”, I just change it to the word it wants to shut it up.

Writing, even as I am doing it now, is painful. But writing has a reward like nothing else I have ever experienced in my life. That painful process of having to express what sits inside me, gives me a sense of accomplishment that nothing else can measure up to. I summit the Himalayas every time I hit that last full stop. And where it would seem that repeatedly taking something out of myself would deplete me, the process grows my inner territory regardless of what I write about or how many words I use. Like weight lifting, it is the tiny tear in the muscle from the strain of the weight that encourages the body to repair and make itself stronger.

So I write and by the time you read this, the pain is over and it’s been replaced by the sweet sensation of victory. And as much as I want everything I write to be favourably received, outside opinion is secondary. Going from a blank page to 500+ words in 24 minutes and getting the words exactly as they should be is the primary goal.

I am Fortunata, and I write because I must.

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WHERE I THINK THE BUSINESS WORLD IS HEADING TO

Since things went awry in 2008, the economy has never gone back to where it was before and I don’t think that it ever will. I am no economist and I don’t have a crystal ball that gives macro-economic predictions, but I do consider myself a very perceptive person and this is what I perceive. Business as usual will never be business as usual again.

The economy didn’t just slump for a few years, drive us to panic and eventually rebound, it seems to stubbornly resist being what we knew it to be before the change. I think the era of the office job, the big conglomerate and the career path is drawing to a close. It`s anyone’s guess how long it’s going to take to fade away. I would not advise my children to gear themselves toward a kind of working life that, as far as I am concerned, is not going to be a feature in the future.

Changes in technology and in the way people communicate and how our lifestyles have changed surely has to have an impact on our working lives. Yet, everyone acts as if for some strange reason the traditional JOB will remain impervious.

I see business being much more focused on its connection to the people it serves rather than just the bottom line. There are more options in every field of enterprise than ever before and the little guy sometimes knocks the Goliaths of the business world for a loop. Because people can have contact and do business with practically anyone who they can contact via the net, I believe business will be done between people who LIKE ONE ANOTHER. It will only be limited by how many people you can build a meaningful economic relationship with. Bam! That’s my prediction.

Do you know why that is true? The answer is: Women.

work from home black

More women are going into business for themselves and we women prefer working with people we like.

Add to that the fact that women spend most of the money in this world. We are the shoppers.

Another thing is that we want to have our careers and have our children and home-life and technology gives us the option to mix all these in a way that works for us. I bet that if you tell the average working woman that she can decide her own hours, only come into an office if she NEEDS to and just ensure that her work gets done, she would jump at the option. Women work hard, but the current economic routine does very little for the other job that waits for us once we get home. Give a woman more freedom and I promise that the productivity rates of this world will soar. And no, I am not going to quote any statistics, ever.

My advice to anyone is be self-employed, work for yourself from day one. Never teach yourself to rely on big business to employ and give you the means to survive. Create it yourself. Find those people who you like working with and build something valuable with them to earn a living from. Weaning yourself of the teat of a job and set salary is a fear that keeps most miserable job-slaves tied to their owner/masters.

I am not pointing fingers at those who have jobs or want jobs. I was employed as a bookkeeper for 16 years, so I’m no better. It’s just that nobody honestly modelled what an independent life looks like and that is what I want to do for those who are not suited to the job-life.

In the late 90s I told my husband that I think that permanent employment will become a thing of the past soon. He just looked at me in disbelief and shook his head. Fast forward to 2015 and many jobs that used to be permanent are now contract or performance based. It took about 20 years for this to really become really entrenched, but my prediction was correct. This prediction I feel even more strongly than in the 90s.

My Jobless Life

This blog is about me and the life I have to make work without being in traditional employment. I am a very hard-working Capricorn who takes life extremely seriously but unfortunately I am not cut from the material that makes for a good employee. I am not good at routine, I don’t like being supervised, I feel that my contribution is worth much more than the salary most jobs offer and worst of all I express these things freely to my employers. Therefore, no job for me.

Instead of struggling to shape employment to fit me I decided in 2009 to strike out on my own. I knew that it would not be easy living a life where I would be responsible for generating my own income and making every decision related to how it would happen and then executing those decisions. I never knew it would be as hard as it has been and I didn’t realise that owning my life could feel as good as it does.

I’ve been the owner of a domestic service, a laundry and an art shop and the first 2 businesses I closed because my heart was not in it and the last went bust, much to my great disappointment. Now finally, after so much learning and failure I have found the work that I believe I was born to do. Writing.

I have yet to get my writing to the point where I get paid as much money for doing it as I would like and this blog treks my journey to that point. Unlike most writers I don’t just want to have a successful book or writing career, I am establishing an online publishing company. Very daunting, because I am new to writing and I am not the most tech-savvy person that you will meet.

Often I am broke, and sometimes I have to do work that has nothing to do with being a writer to ensure that I keep body and soul together. But I love the freedom and I love having the time to actually live my life.

So here’s to My Jobless Life!

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